Your storyis our story
Did you know that 50% of all mental health conditions start before the age of 14?*
And more and more young children are presenting with mental distress that needs support.
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Nobody likes to think about a child in distress, but for many children, these feelings are all too common.
Listen. Just listen. aims to raise awareness of this issue, help reduce the risk of mental health issues later in life, and provide parents and caregivers with simple tools to support children experiencing mental distress.
We asked children and young people what advice they would give parents and caregivers facing this issue, and their answers were simple:
“It’s not enough to just ask the question, you have to show that you really care about the answer.”
Chloe, headspace customer
While younger children often approach their parents/ caregivers to voice concerns about their emotional wellbeing, parents/caregivers don’t always listen.
The signs listed below may suggest you need to check in with your child and really listen, so that the concerns or emotions they raise are validated.
It’s important to note that these signs on their own may not be cause for concern. If several of these concerns present and persist over time, you may need to seek the advice of a Mental Health Professional. Your GP can support referrals.
Remember to reflect back what you’re observing and ask for your child’s perspective.
Sometimes your child will say they don’t want to talk. That is ok, let them talk when they are ready. You could say ‘let me know when you’re ready and I’ll be here’.
There is decades of evidence that shows that listening is the most helpful first step in supporting a child with intense emotions.
Listening is an important skill for parents/caregivers, but it doesn’t always come easily. Share your feedback in the short form below and gain access to the Quick tips to help you listen fact sheet.
Did you find the information provided on this page helpful? Send us your feedback and get access to the Quick tips on how to listen fact sheet.
Chloe, 21 years old, headspace customer
As a child, my feelings were often dismissed and overlooked. I was told that I had no ‘real’ reason to be distressed, and that I was just being too sensitive. Although it was not my parent’s intention, I learnt that I had to process all of my heavy emotions alone, which left me feeling like I was not important enough to ask for help.
This resulted in an array of emotional wellbeing challenges throughout adolescence, that followed me into adulthood. I am now 21 years old; this is what I wish my parents knew. I know that parents just want to help but I never needed my parents to tell me how to ‘fix it’ or how to feel, when I didn’t feel ok.
Early on, my distress looked like lots of crying and being overwhelmed. Distress can also be internalised and appear in other ways – somatic (physical) symptoms like chronic headaches, fatigue, stomach and muscle pains were very common.
Distress also looked like having high expectations of myself; over-apologising for every mistake and not thinking that anything I did was good enough. I wish someone was able to give me space to talk about my feelings, to feel supported after a bad day, or even just to tell me that my feelings mattered.
Having someone listen, just listen, would have given me the space to process my feelings and to feel heard. It also would have allowed me to practice sitting with, and working through, troubling emotions, rather than just hold them all in.
This is important as it allows us to learn how to effectively regulate emotions and develop crucial interpersonal communication skills. Genetically, I was predisposed to need support in managing my emotions and cognitions, but I believe that although I was always going to have struggles, if I had felt more heard I wouldn’t have had to struggle as much as I did.
My parents often used to ask what I wanted them to do to ‘fix things’; now as an adult I can finally offer some suggestions:
Support Listen. Just listen. by sharing the A4 posters with:
“If I had felt more heard I wouldn’t have had to struggle as much as I did. Even a small question like 'How was your day' or 'how are you feeling', can open up a conversation.”
Chloe, headspace customer
If you or a loved one needs immediate help please contact one of the support networks below.
Kids Helpline
24/7 service for kids and teens
Kids Helpline is a free and confidential 24/7 online and phone counselling service for kids, teens, and young people who want to talk about anything, at any time.
Lifeline
24/7 service
Free, confidential, one-to-one support for people who are feeling overwhelmed or having difficulty coping or staying safe, via online chat, phone or text messages (0477 13 11 14).
Text messages (SMS): 0477 13 11 14.
Listening is an important skill for parents/caregivers, but it doesn’t always come easily. Share your feedback below and gain access to the 'Quick tips on how to listen' fact sheet. Your opinion is incredibly valuable to us!
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*Data collected from Wesley Mission Queensland’s various mental health services and from 'Kessler, R.C., et al., Lifetime prevalence and age-ofonset distributions of DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005. 62(6): p. 593-602. DOI: doi: https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.62.6.593'